Towards a More Fulfilling Marriage (Part 2)

Work Together in the House

The Prophet Sallalahu alaihi wa Sallam is known to have helped his wives in the house. And if the Prophet Sallalahu alaihi wa Sallam was not above doing housework, modern Muslim husbands shouldn’t feel that they are.

Communication is Important

Communication, Communication, Communication! This is the big word in counseling. And it should be. Husbands and wives need to talk to each other. It is better to deal with problems early and honestly than to let them pile up until an explosion occurs.

Forget Past Problems

Don’t bring up past problems once they have been solved.

Live Simply

Don’t be jealous of those who seem to be living a more luxurious life than your family. The ‘rizq” is from Allah (Subhanahu wa Ta’ala). In order to develop the quality of contentment, look at those people who have less than you, not those who have more. Thank Allah (Subhanahu wa Ta’ala) for the many blessings in your life.

Give Your Spouse Time Alone

If your mate doesn’t want to be with you all the time, it doesn’t mean he or she doesn’t love you. People need to be alone for various reasons.

Sometimes they want to read, to think about their problems, or just to relax. Don’t make them feel that they are committing a sin.

Admit Your Mistakes

When you make a mistake, admit it. When your mate makes a mistake, excuse him or her easily. If possible, never go to sleep angry with each other.

Physical Relationship is Important

Have Meals Together

Try to eat together as a family when possible. Show the cook and the dishwasher, whether it is the husband or the wife, appreciation for his or her efforts. The Prophet (sallAllahu alaihi wa sallam) did not complain about food that was put before him.

Be Mindful of Your discussion Topics

Never discuss with others things about your marriage that your spouse wouldn’t like you to discuss, unless there is an Islamic reason to do so. Some husbands and wives, believe it or not, complain to others about their mate’s physical appearance. This is a recipe for disaster.

Many of us treat our spouses in ways that we would never treat others.

With others, we try to be polite, kind, and patient. With our spouses, we often do not show these courtesies. Of course, we are usually with our spouses at our worst times — when we are tired and frustrated after a hard day. After a bad day at the office, husbands usually come home angry and on edge. The wife has probably also had a hard day with the children and the housework. Wives and husbands should discuss this potential time bomb so that if they are short-tempered with each other during these times, they will understand the reasons rather than automatically thinking that their spouse no longer loves them.

Good marriages require patience, kindness, humility, sacrifice, empathy, love, understanding, forgiveness, and hard work. Following these principles should help any marriage to improve. The essence of them all can be summed up in one sentence: Always treat your spouse the way you would like to be treated. If you follow this rule, your marriage will have a much greater chance for success. If you discard this rule, failure is just around the corner.